A Day In The Life

Sorry again for my hiatus from blogging. Honestly I don't believe that I have enough readers to merit being a faithful blogger, but I realize how rude that is to the few bloggers I have, as if the few that they are are not important enough to blog for. Though, I am not blogging for anyone else, but rather for myself, to get things off my mind, to get things in writing, and to take some time to STOP and THINK. Rather than my usual of just going on and thinking as I go.

I thought I'd post about why I haven't' been posting.

You've heard a lot about him already and maybe you'd like me to write about other things in my life, but really there is nothing much else right now.

Our Sugar quite simply a "high needs" child. (Also known as a "spirited" child, but who doesn't want their child to be 'spirited'?) He knows exactly what he wants and cries or screams until he gets just that. Most 'high needs' children need constant attention and holding. The whole 'cry it out' method (which I don't agree with) does not work for ones like Sugar. He will scream himself into a hysterical fit, from which it is near impossible to console him.

It is supremely challenging. Our Sugar has been held most of his lil life. Now at five months I've got pipes for arms. However things have changed, he is slowly beginning to enjoy a few play activities on his own but not for long, maybe 5 or 10 minute here and there.


For the most part our day looks something like this:

7am - Wake up. Sugar plays on the floor for 10 minutes while I shove breakfast in my face. I also try to sneak in a shower here if Sugar is being happy enough.
8am - By this point Sugar if definitely irate at being "left alone" and so we do a diaper change, I feed him a lil breakfast and we play until naptime
9am-11am - Nap. We lay together in bed and Sugar nurses to sleep. If I do get up to do anything its usually chores or cooking. But I've found Sugar sleeps longer and wakes up happier if I lay with him, so I spend my time reading.
12pm-2pm - Playtime! Sugar is all about being WITH someone at this point. If we can we take a walk, we exercise, and have a snack or two.
3pm - Naptime again.
5pm - Dinnertime! DaddyOat is home and we trade between holding Sugar and cooking dinner. If we can manage it we try to eat together, but more often than not one eats while the other plays with Sugar.
7pm - Bathtime!
8pm - Nurse and NightNight, I usually go to bed at this point too...however tonight Sugar is asleep on my lap while I type this blog post for you that has been over two weeks in the making, and now you can understand why.

Our Fight to Breastfeed (Part Three)

To read Part One Click Here
To read Part Two Click Here


We were between feeling safe and scared.
Safe that we were right that Sugar's health was just fine and we had professionals who would back us up on that.
Scared, of course, that our "family" doctor would take our last phone conversation as good reason to tell C.A.S. we were being negligent parents.
We were in total disbelief that all of this was happening because we refused to give our child something that was not as good for him as breastmilk!


With our appointment with her cancelled, and another appointment with the Newman Clinic scheduled so that Sugar's weight gain could be monitored, we decided it was time to formally end our 'relationship' with our family doctor.

I had very few 'kind' words to say and felt that if we were to terminate this relationship via letter I wanted it to be short and sweet: "After being in your care for these few months now, we can see that we have different values and philosophies of health care and we insist you please remove us and our son from our roster immediately. We also would ask that you refrain from contacting us."

DaddyOat on the other hand wanted them to see the error of their ways and make sure they knew EXACTLY what they did wrong. After failing to agree on what type of letter to write we decided to each write our own and send them together.


The letter DaddyOat wrote was five pages long. Detailing every single threat and insinuation they made at our visits, and describing the different care and opinion we received at the Newman Clinic. More importantly though, while DaddyOat was writing this letter, he discovered a key piece of information that set this whole thing up...a clinical error that went unnoticed by our family doctor.

Remember how I mentioned that at our first visit they weighed Sugar twice? Once at 8lbs the second time at 7lbs? On the chart we received from our doctor that had the growth curve plus Sugars weight, DaddyOat noticed that the first and starting weight was the 8lb weight, putting Sugar in the 50th percentile. However, his actual weight, 7lbs, put him in the 3rd percentile, where he'd been remaining throughout all our visits. Given the 3rd percentile is at the bottom of the chart, but it still is normal, and Sugar was.is also very bright and strong, so no cause for alarm.

With this 'evidence' at our hands we finally felt completely safe that if anyone were to come accusing us of anything, we had proof that the doctor made an error, resulting in her making rash threats.


Now, before anyone thinks we took this too far, and that to err is human, we completely agree! DaddyOat even included it in his version of the letter. But error or not this doctor failed to see two very obvious things:
#1 - Sugar was bright, healthy and strong. Clearly not a malnourished child.
#2 - We were clearly loving parents who wanted to be educated about their child's health and in doing so chose to exclusively breastfeed.
Clearly reasons to withhold threatening to call C.A.S.

Now a month has gone by since this chaos. We've re-visited the Newman Clinic several times. Sugar remains on the 3rd percentile, but no one is concerned. Their only suggestion has been to maybe start solids a little sooner than 6 months. Sugar now LOVES his 1/4 banana in the morning and a little sweet potato at night.



I shared this story with you all not for any sort of sympathy or shock value but merely to encourage those of you out there who want to breastfeed and are coming up against opposition from anyone there IS support out there.

Contact the Newman Clinic
Visit their website
Watch the videos

Search until you find a doctor or pediatrician who supports breastfeeding.

And if all else fails contact me and I will do my hardest and best to help you in whatever way I can, because, like I said, we believe breastfeeding is the best option for babies.

Our Fight to Breastfeed (Part Two)

To read Part One click here

...Children's Aid. That's where we left off from Part One.
You know that feeling when someone has just told you someone you love has died or been in a serious accident or any sort of tragic life altering event, & your gut seems to drop out of its place, your throat seizes & you feel almost paralyzed.
That was us in that doctors office.

We were silent as we left. Silent as we headed toward the highway to head to the Newman Breastfeeding Clinic & silent most of the way to Toronto. We knew we were doing the right thing by breastfeeding & not using formula, but the threat of this being a bad decision for our baby that may lead to him being taken from us was just outrageous. It was unbelievable to us. Yet we were firm that no threat was going to force us into giving up on breastfeeding.


We were worried as we waited for our appointment with the Newman Clinic. After being so mistreated by our doctor we knew we couldn't take anymore abuse without breaking down entirely. We needed encouragement & support. Not threats.

We were greeted by a student lactation consultant who, after a LONG list of thorough questions, quickly suggested some little alterations to how Sugar was latching. Her supervisor checked in & agreed that the latch looked alright.
{So what was wrong? Why the slow weight gain?}
Enter Dr. Hillary, pediatrician. She took Sugar from us & laid him down to give him a full physical. Once she was finished she let him grab her fingers (like all babies do) & she gave a little pull to which Sugar pulled himself up & stood right up & looked around the room...nothing new to us, he'd been doing that for weeks.
Dr. Hillary gasped.
She was shocked.


So shocked she asked us permission to film him for her med. students. Right then & there a videographer came in & filmed him, standing, looking around, & smiling. They nicknamed him Hercules. As Dr. Hillary narrated the video she explained how Sugar was indeed gaining weight slower than average, but was not malnourished, & was in fact thriving which was evident by his exceptional muscle tone, his ability to pull his own weight, to stand & support his head.

Listening to this we felt a wash of comfort come over us. We knew we found the right place that would support our decision to breastfeed & encourage us that Sugar was indeed okay & developing normally, as we suspected.

Once the filming was done, we asked to speak with Dr. Hillary & Clinic Director, Edith Kernerman privately. We told them everything our doctor had done to us, & threatened us with. Edith was outraged & Dr. Hillary reassured us that our doctor was clearly mistaken & there was NO reason to introduce formula whatsoever. She was also willing to contact our doctor & inform her that Sugar was just fine and she would be following up with Sugar so as to keep our doctor from having any reason to contact C.A.S.

We made another appointment at the Newman Clinic for the next week & left on cloud 9.


At this point having the affirmation that Sugar was okay, & knowing that we would be returning to have Sugar checked out by a pediatrician who valued breastfeeding, I decided Sugar & I would NOT be going back to our doctors office again. DaddyOat was not so firm. We discussed it many times. His fear was that our not returning to our doctor would prompt them to act on their 'suspicions' & contact C.A.S. My thinking was that I would not walk into a situation into which I know my baby & I will be abused.

We finally decided together that no matter what the consequences we would not be returning & DaddyOat called the doctors office to cancel our next appointment with her.
They said no.
{No? No?!! What do you mean no?!!}
According to them there was some sort of unnamed ministryy that required us to come in for our appointment. DaddyOat didn't know what to say & hung up.

We were stunned, again. How can we be forced to go to an appointment?


At this point we were very thankful to have our doula, Sarah, visiting with us. She laughed & told us there was no way, legally, they could force us to go in for an appointment. She also informed us of our legal rights as patients, the right to refuse treatment, the right to a second opinion & the right to change doctors.

With this knowledge I then called the doctors office back & spoke to the doctor directly. Once I informed her that Sugar would not be coming in for his scheduled appointment & there was no need to reschedule at this time, she then proceeded to as me questions which I knew were inappropriate & within my legal right NOT to answer.


Most of the conversation went like this:
Question #1 - "Why are you cancelling your appointment?" Answer: "I feel I do not have to answer that question. All you need to know is that Sugar will not be coming in for his scheduled appointment & we will not be rescheduling at this time."
Question #2 - "When are you rescheduling?"
Answer: "I feel I do not have to answer that question. All you need to know is that Sugar will not be coming in for his scheduled appointment & we will not be rescheduling at this time."
Question #3 - "Will we be seeing Sugar again?"
Answer: "I feel I do not have to answer that question. All you need to know is that Sugar will not be coming in for his scheduled appointment & we will not be rescheduling at this time."
REPEAT x3

It was annoying to say the least. I finally repeated myself one last time & said goodbye & hung up. Then the trepidation really began to set in....what would she do? Would she call C.A.S.?

* * *

(Come back for the Final Part of Our Story)

Our Fight to Breastfeed (Part One)

Sorry I've been on hiatus from blogging recently, summertime is filled with exciting events & reasons to leave the computer off. But aside from all this I've really hit a mental block when it came to blogging, I just haven't known what to write about lately, & on top of this we were dealing with the largest battle our family has ever faced behind the scenes of all the summertime fun.

So I am going to open it up and share it with you & break the writing hiatus.

First a little background: For those of you who are not aware. Breastfeeding is of a huge importance for us. Without going into lengthy details we believe it is the healthiest option for a mother/baby pair. And again, without going into details, we are aware that there are many health hazards to using formula (Visit IBC for more info)
So for these reasons, breastfeeding was the only option for us, but we never thought we would have to fight for that right.


It all started at our new doctors office....

Sugars 1st Appointment (7 days)
I was unimpressed with their treatment of him. First, they weighed him incorrectly at over 8lbs. I knew this was wrong because he had only been weighed two days before at just over 7lbs. So after they weighed him incorrectly at over 8lbs, & ignoring my suggestions to reweigh him while he was already undressed, they later made the decision that the weight didn't seem right & made me undress him again & weighed him at over 7lbs. A BIG difference for a newborn.
{Hmm...}
I was also shocked at their demands of our parenting style, informing us we HAD to give Sugar vitamin D supplements & he HAD to sleep in his own bed (we co-sleep).
{Hmm...}
Finally they asked that I come back with him in a week so they could weigh him.
{Yeah right.}


Sugars 2nd Appointment (8 weeks)
We never rescheduled another appointment until 8 weeks. This was apparently a HUGE mistake. The doctor informed us with a not-so-caring tone that it looks 'suspicious' when people don't come in for appointments.
{Suspicious? Did I just hear him say suspicious? What is he suspicious of? I'm going to kick him in the suspicious if he thinks what I think he's thinking we're suspicious of.}
Nevertheless, we had him weighed & made an appointment for the next week when he could get his vaccinations.

Sugars 3rd Appointment (9 weeks)
This was the beginning of a worse situation. After giving Sugar his shots & weighing him. The doctor informed us that he was not gaining weight very well...averaging about half an ounce a day. The doctor agreed to 'allow' me to breastfeed exclusively...
{Hmm...}
...as long as I pump like a cow when he's not feeding & get Sugar eating more on. Sure. No problem. See you in a week for another weigh in.

Sugars 4th Appointment (10 weeks)
Sugar was still only averaging a half an ounce a day after 7 insane days of doing nothing but feeding him & pumping in my spare time. It was disappointing to say the least. The doctor who was hoping for better results suggested formula saying that she was concerned about his brain development if he didn't get enough calories. We declined the formula suggestion. She then took a closer look at Sugar (actually picking him up this time) & noticed a possible tongue tie which might impede his ability to suck effectively. She referred us to a specialist who would 'clip it' if he deemed it bad enough and after that we would weigh him again. So we decided to give it another week.

- - The specialist said there was a tongue tie but not "bad enough" to clip - -


Sugars 5th Appointment (11 weeks)
At this appointment Sugar didn't even see the doctor.
{Hmm...}
He was simply weighed, to which he met the doctors minimum requirement, & we were told to continue as we were & come back next week.

* * *
Here's where we interrupt these appointments to throw in a few other lil tidbits that happened on the side...

As we became increasingly unsatisfied with the care we were receiving from this doctor and had a growing awareness for her lack of respect for breastfeeding we decided it was time to look for other help. We contacted the Newman Breastfeeding Clinic in Toronto. A famous clinic with a breastfeeding expert at the reins, someone who could help us solve Sugars slow weight gain without telling us to just switch to formula. We made an appointment for which we needed a referral from our doctor. They never sent it.
{Hmm...}

Then, a day or so later, I get a phone call from a Health Center in our area. They were told I wanted some breastfeeding help & called to see how things were going.
I told the poor lady on the phone, I never asked for any help. As far as I was concerned things were going just fine. No pain, no latching issues. Nothing really wrong other than slow weight gain. She was so embarrassed & apologized throughout our whole conversation. Our doctors office had given her our information...apparently without telling me.
{Hmm...}


* * *

Sugars 6th Appointment (12 weeks)
Once again for all our efforts Sugar was still only averaging half an ounce a week. The doctor again told us she was worried about his brain development & asked if we were concerned at all. We said no.
{No, we weren't concerned. He was happy, strong & bright eyed, he didn't look ill & never had lethargy or screaming colicky fits. As far as we could see, other than being a little guy, he was healthy.}
Nevertheless, she assured us we SHOULD be concerned, insinuating in her tone that we were stupid not to be.
We informed her that we were taking the situation seriously...enough that we would be visiting the Newman Clinic that very day in Toronto & we needed her referral. To which she replied, "I love & hate Dr. Newman"
{Hmm...We don't recall asking for your opinion}
She then told us we HAD to start giving him a bottle of formula a day.
{Excuse me? We HAD to?}
Her reply: Yes, you HAVE to. What do you think is so bad about formula?
{We don't have to tell you that. YOU as our doctor have to RESPECT that we don't wish to use formula & furthermore, you should know the hazards of formula yourself & you should be the one telling us about the hazards of formula.}
Sadly, those were NOT the words that came out of our mouths...we were so stunned we barely replied & instead of respecting our desires to breastfeed she then told us if we don't give him a bottle of formula a day & start gaining better weight by his next visit, she'll have to call Children's Aid.

...


{To Be Continued}

In case you wanted to know...

Tell me about the shirt you’re wearing?

It is a b;ack nursing tank top, comfy and super practical.

What’s currently bothering you?

The humidity, but it's slowly breaking.

What do you currently hear?

The breeze and DaddyOat puttering around ther house

When was the last time you had your hair cut?

March, before Sugar was born. I think it may be time for another.

When were you last outside?

About an hour ago, I thought I would try to nurse Sugar to sleep in the cool breeze but there were too many mosquitos.

Are you wearing shorts?

Capris

Does the thought of marriage scare you?

Not my marriage.

What did you do today?

Went up to my mom's to do some posters for this weekends Stag and Doe for some friends. When to Brighton to buy beeswax. stopped at the grovery store and bought an organic basil plant for DaddyOat. Back to mom's for dinner. Wine. Home. Gave Sugar a cool down bath and am nursing him to sleep and blogging.

Look to your left, what is there?

Jack Newman's Guide to Breastfeeding and 2 remotes.

What time did you go to sleep last night?

10pm ish

When is your Birthday?

September 1

The way to win your heart?

Bring me wine is the simple answer...the more serious answer is just too much to tackle here.

What are you going​ to do this weeke​nd?

Helping out at a Stag and Doe for Laura and Zade in Niagara!!

Were you happy when you woke up today?

Yes

Have you ever crawled through a window?

More times than I can count. My bedroom in high school was in the basement with a HUGE groung level window...easy in, easy out.

Would you ever donate blood?

I'm not sure...

Has anyone ever mistaken you for a family member?

PI get mistake on the phone for my mom all the time....mostly by her work.

Do you have reason to smile right now?

Yes DaddyOat is tiding up the house, the summer breeze is sweet, and Sugar is quietly resting in my arms...the livin' is easy.

What do you do when you’re stressed out?

Talk in my sleep.

Would you honestly say you’d risk your life for someone else?

Yes.

Do you open up to people easily?

For sure! You could pretty much ask me anything and I'll tell you...and probably without blushing.

Has anyone upset you in the last week?

Yes. My {former} doctor.

What is the last pill you swallowed?

A Chill Pill. {ahaha, I'm hilarious} No, uhh it was my prenatal vit, a vit D and a perscription I'm on {I HATE prescription drugs}

What was the first thing you thought this morning?

My tailbone hurts.

Who do you blame for your bad mood today?

I’m not in a bad mood

Where is the person you like right now?

Making me coffee.

What was the first thing you did this morning?

Handed DaddyOat our lil Sugar and then rolled over on my tummy

Do you care of what people think of you?

Not my style or appearance but moreso my character.

Who was the last person you took a picture with?

Probably Sugar

What are you looking forward to right now?

Cabining with the Carson's next weekend.

Do you miss someo​ne?

Beth and Chris. The closer it is to them coming back the farther away it seems they are.

Does your crush like you?

He must, he married me.

If you could go back in time and change something would you?

I would go back and go to Midwifery school after doing my Philosophy BA

Do you hate smokers?

No, but I do hate cigarette smoke.

Ever had a near death experience?

One can never tell just how near death is on any given day.

Something you do a lot?

Dishes

Last person you cried in front of?

DaddyOat and SSugar...I just get so happy sometimes.

Have you ever been to a tanning bed?

No, I tan east enough.

Does anyone hate you for no reason?

I hope not!

Have you ever kissed someone whose name starts with the letter J?

Not that I can think of.

What are you stressed out about?

Driving to Niagara with Sugar on Saturday....it'll be his first LONG car ride.

What was your favourite grade?

A+

When is the next time you’ll see your best friend(s)?

Next weekend (Carsons) and August (Riccis).

Favourite number?

1...its means your first in line

Ever been in love?

Yep

Are you wearing make-up?

Just EcoBella eyeliner

What were you doing at 11:30 last night?

Nursing Sugar.

What’s the last thing you said and to who?

"Aren't you having a coffee?" to DaddyOat

Do you sleep on your stomach?

I used to before co-sleeping with Sugar.

What do you hear?

Birds singing and Sugar grunting in his sleep

Are you ticklish?

Yes, but I am also violent when being tickled, I kick and I kick hard.

Last time you saw fireworks, with who & where?

Oh goodness, I don't know.

Cheaper, Greener, Healthier: Sunscreen

Helloooo Summer!

I love the heat. The hotter the better. I don't mind sweating it out or roasting in the sun. It's all a part of the beauty of summertime! {Though I will admit I would be happier without the humidity in Ontario, but what can ya do?}

Sadly this summer I don't think I'll be outside soaking in that sunlight as much as I usually would be. For one, I'm a little trapped where I am here at home {living next to a highway with not neighbourhood} And for two, keeping Sugar out of the intense sunlight until he's old enough for sunscreen is of utmost importance....and its just WAAAYY to hot out there to dress him all up.

{Our Sugar with his new 'keep the sun off my head' bandana}

DaddyOat can't seen to keep himself indoors for more than enough time to eat and sleep! He's worked very diligently on our fabulous garden, spending hours out there working away. And to top it off, as of today he has started working with a friend of ours on his farm where last year I worked their fruit & veggie stand. {LOVED that job!}

Now you think, being the healthy, responsible, people we 'pretend' to be DaddyOat would have been really keen on protecting his skin...however all this time outdoors has amounted to some pretty intense sunburns...I mean a sunburn so bad he blistered on all of his shoulders.

It was tough to choose to wear any of the commercial sunscreens which have been linked to so many horrible health issues...but after this absolutely terrible sunburn {He looked like a leper, seriously} we decided it was time to start investigating sunscreens and find one that we would feel safe using on ourselves and Sugar {when he can wear it}

After much searching I came across...{drumroll please}

Green Beaver Sunscreen



Whys & Whats:
First of all, Green Beaver rates a whopping '1' rating on Skin Deep. {That's a good thing}
Also, most of the ingredients are certified organic and its Canadian made!

Our Assessment:
For DaddyOat it wasn't the greatest. He sweat so much working out in the field that he would sweat off the sunscreen. The the parts where he put sunscreen as opposed to the spots that didn't, it obviously worked. If you weren't doing hard labour like him, it may work better.
On top of all that the biggest downside to this product, like anything organic or 'good for you' is the price. At $20 for 90ml its one of those purchases you have to grin and bear it.
We won't buy this product again due to the amount DaddyOat would have to use to keep his skin safe and the cost it would be to have that much in our cupboard.

Thus, the hunt begins on my part to find a good DIY sunscreen recipe.

Cheaper, Greener, Healthier: Recipe

Had this last night for dinner with a few friends...


Eggplant Veggie Burger

1 eggplant - peeled and cut into small cubes
1 cup shredded cheese
1 cup bread crumbs
cumin, basil, garlic, salt & pepper
Olive oil

Directions: In a frying pan cook the eggplant until grey and VERY soft.
Then in a large bowl mix everything together (spices to your taste, they really depend on the size of the eggplant you use)
Refrigerate for 1/2 hour.
Heat oil on a frying pan.
Take a handful of mix and form into patties (makes anywhere from 4 to 5)
Place on frying pan and cook until browned on each side.

Whys & Whats: Eggplants are super great for your health. They are high in fibre, have tons of antioxidants, and lots of other great health benefits. (Read more here)

Our Assessment: Like I said, I served this last night for dinner to a few friends. They loved it. In fact they are the reason I am sharing this recipe. One compared it to Thanksgiving stuffing. I haven't tried freezing these yet, my next batch I plan on making a lot and freezing some. My guess is that they should be okay.
Also, I wouldn't recommend grilling these on the BBQ. They can be rather delicate. I would also suggest flouring your hands when forming the patties to give them just a little more protection against sticking to the frying pan.

Enjoy!